Becoming a REAL family...

So baby boy number 3, Osian, completed our puzzle without us knowing it needed completing! This little miracle babe revived our souls, our lives and our love. Plodding along was no longer an option! We had become sick of leaving each other every week, whilst Simeon drove 2.5 hours away every Sunday evening. Resentment kicked in too, I hated him coming home just to leave again. I struggled during the week solo, breastfeeding & a needy baby imprisoned me to the house. My only retreat was the school run which sometimes ended in coffee at the local cafe before returning to my hovel of a home. All we both really wanted was a complete family, together. Both of us weary about the subject it took us until Osian was about 6 months old to bring it up, it had been a long time coming!!

We went away for two nights up in Brecon, with just the two littles. James chose to stay with his grandparents as he's at that age when going to a beautiful village with your parents is a form of torture! Driving up to Brecon my husband approached the distance subject with caution. We had been going through a rough patch (AGAIN!) and I think he was worried I'd jump in feet first without thinking if he said LETS DO IT! So our options were him to get out of the army (let's be honest that was never an option really, civvy street is more daunting than ever when military ways are all you know) or we pack up and take the leap into military life up on camp, but at least we'd be together as a family. We discussed this a lot over the two days away. We went to a lovely local restaurant and I sat there looking at his handsome face. We could do this! I could do this! LETS DO THIS! 

The decision was made, we needed to be together before this family fell apart. It was an all or nothing situation. And we were both ready to give our all. My husband opened up about how he hated leaving us on a Sunday, and that Osian made it even harder. All weekend he would end up holding us at arms length knowing that he'd have to say good bye again, which was killing us all. 

Excitement built, anxiety built, then happiness connected the both. We'd been together 7 years, raised two children, and now a third had been thrown into the bedlam. I was so happy that we were giving everything and being together, as a proper family. Finally! 

Telling my eldest was the hardest. He has an amazing bond with his grandparents and even though I knew that bond would never weaken, he had a freak out about it. He was worried about leaving his friends, his grandparents, his father. We sat him down and talked everything through with him, the good and the bad. He soon realised that we weren't doing this to hurt him, that we were doing it for a better life - together! James is very mature for his age, and very knowing. He's a sensitive soul, but so so strong. As an 11 year old he has gone through so much, he amazes me every day (even now). 

Waving goodbye to Wales was hard, I'm only 2.5 hours from home but I ain't gonna drive that for a brew with my mum. Thankfully she's been fully supportive and surprises us with visits every now and again. 

Cymru Am Byth! 

James and Tomas as we set off on our new adventure to our new home...

A year full of nappies, nipples and no wine!

So you now know how my baby boy was brought into this world, bless him. And me! I still sometimes think about it and cry. I feel so blessed to have all 3 of my boys. They're such a blessing, and I couldn't be without them. 

One year on I'm still breastfeeding my little one. He's a proper boob-man. He even motor-boats me... IN PUBLIC! We waited until 6 months to do baby led weaning with him also, as when I tried weaning him with purees he used to vomit about 10 times in an hour. Like projectile all over me. It was horrendous! And I couldn't put him through it, I was worried he'd hate food, and worried I'd smell of sick forever! Baby led weaning has been so much fun though. We started with boring food as I was still weary of him having solids, so bread, baby biscuits, baby crisps, tomato and cucumber were my basic starter tasters. Now however he eats everything, by himself. At 13 months he started using a spoon but before that he was elbow deep in his grub and loved it! He is such a character. His big brothers worship him, he's gonna be so spoilt! 

Disposable nappies? I was a big fat failure at attempting cloth bumming. The first time he wore one he did a poop within half an hour. Having used Pampers with my other two I was much more in tune with whipping it off and launching it straight into the bin. With 3 boys and a soldier at home my washing pile is enough without adding poop stained nappies to the mix. I would have loved to have succeeded but some things just aren't for everyone. 

My favourite thing every day is dressing my baby boy. Boy clothes these day are so much more fun than 11 years ago! The high street is almost just as diabolical though I might add. I personally think the best high street shops for boys are Zara, H&M, Gap and the Little Bird by Jools range in Mothercare. I rarely find anything I like in other shops out there. I am a complete handmade addict! Instagram has transformed my baby clothes life completely. I shall do a post on handmade soon, and I'll be able to direct you to some of my faves! 

Anyway, back to the nipples.... Those bad boys are the reason there has also been no wine. Ive not had a good drink for almost 2 years now, and I'm not even missing it. I don't need to go out and get drunk for a good time. I don't think I'll go back to drinking when the baby decides he no longer wants the boob, the thought of a hangover - no thanks!! Breastfeeding is so special to me, I always get the question "when are you going to stop?" But I have no plans of stopping any time soon. He no longer needs milk throughout the day if we're out and about. Which is great, in the house he'll still use a bit of the boob to fall asleep. But I don't mind that. We have an amazing bond through breastfeeding. It's just amazing. Also breastfeeding has become a part of who I am at the moment. Ive had a baby hanging off the nipple for over a year now, and I wouldn't change it at all! I'm not one of those crazed breast feeders though, if you choose the bottle great, if you choose the boob great also. I chose breastfeeding because it was free, but now even with all the money in the world I'd still breastfeed. My husband has been a great support with my choices, and as the baby refuses bottle and dummy I'm sole feeder. Which of course I don't mind. Means I get him all to myself in our feeding moments, although at 3am it's a struggle sometimes. One full night sleep would be delightful! 

I think that's filled in most of the gaps of the past year! Watch this space.... 

Hat: RyderL and Outfit: Eversew Beautiful